So while Qusay and Uday have been spreading conspiracy
theories about what went wrong with the counting of the Iowa Caucuses we have
come to learn that there really was something going on, but it wasn’t the
Democratic Party or anyone else on the left doing it. It was
4chan.
Seriously.
It would appear that the phone number used to report caucus
results was easy to find with a Google search, and someone posted it on 4chan.
This was followed with a post of "Uh oh how unfortunate it would be for a bunch
of mischief makers to start clogging the lines," by an anonymous user. And
that’s exactly what happened. “Clog the lines [and] make the call
lads.”
This is what the Republican Party has devolved to: Everything
they claim their opponents are doing is actually being done by themselves. They
are going to try to steal this election. By any means necessary.
Iowa wasn’t a test, it was a proof of concept. It is possible
to hack an election without the use of any computers at all. Imagine this on a
national scale. Imagine not just this, but computers changing results, lost
ballots, thousands of people dropped from rolls, provisional ballots not
counted, laws changed to restrict voting, notices posting incorrect dates about
voting. Warnings of people being arrested at polling stations for unpaid
parking tickets…
Oh wait – all of this is already happening. And much more.
After seeing Trump speak today, I have no doubt that stealing an election by any
means necessary isn’t beyond him and his party. I’m still not 100% convinced
they didn’t steal the last one.
Trump is a bully. When have you ever known a bully to give up
power voluntarily? Free country my ass.
Cheap Shots
(it’s Rum Thursday! Today I introduce you to one with a kooky name and great
flavor):
Oh Uday, are you going to grab
him by it?
Jim Jordan’s ears, Steve Scalise’s wife, Bobby Richardson,
James Comey, hugging his daughter longer than his wife, and other weirdness from
today’s
appearance of the orange-toupee-ed groundhog.
As I have said to every single person who calls him the
chosen one – No, he’s the Golden
Calf.
Oh, and here is what the “chosen one: did at the National
Prayer Breakfast today.
Rosa Parks has one of these too. It
got cheapened. And notice the not too subtle digs CNN gets in during that
last paragraph.
Five years? Talk about your Holiday
in Cambodia.
Here is how to make a Yaka Hula
Kickey Dula, which tastes like none of its ingredients:
Ingredients
- 1
1/2 ounces dark rum (the darker the better)
- 1
1/2 ounces dry vermouth
- 1
1/2 ounces pineapple juice
Steps
to Make It
- Gather the ingredients.
- In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, pour the rum,
vermouth, and pineapple juice.
- Shake well.
- Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.
- Serve and enjoy!
Here come the Biden hearings. That
should be surreal, because Hunter Bided didn’t yet work for the company that
corrupt prosecutor was investigation. “Mr. Biden, tell me abut this.” “I can’t –
I didn’t work there yet.”
And now Sidney Poitier takes the mantle as the highest-ranked
person still living. on the AFI’s Greatest Male Screen Legends of Classic
Hollywood Cinema. This
man held the mantle until yesterday. In fact, on the Men’s side only Poitier is
left. On the women’s is only Sophia Loren.
Oh hey, another
airstrike and another leader dead.
Buttigieg tells us that there’s a Dark Money
Bernie.
So in all fairness, meet Dark
Money Pete.
But they
all do it, ya know.
Having watched Brian Williams I would imagine that this was
delivered with no small amount of dry sarcasm, but still, “Are
you teaching democrats how to speak American?” Really?
And because I love you, the new song by the 1975 – which I
think will be a big hit.
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