Friday, March 17, 2017

Cheap Shots

It's my Gran's birthday today (she would have been 106 and already have drunk you under the table) so let's get straight to the Cheap Shots!

So.... Hawkeye Pierce may get sent back to Korea because the Secretary of State isn't getting enough sleep.

So who had money that the first country that we'd have to formally apologize to was Great Britain?

Say goodbye to all of this.

And also say goodbye to the law firm of Boot, Thimble and Wheelbarrow.

If there was such a thing as a National Public Newspaper he'd probably cut that too.

"The budget request also proposes wasting technologies already in space."

Ireland is not Nigeria, Mr. Trump. And ooh, the Irish response. Those are a people who know how to throw an insult. If you only follow one of my links, this is the one.

I hope that "these people" don't wait too long to realize that they are actually "those people".

Don't you kind of miss having a First Lady?

I would love to know what she told him between photo ops.

Because the Irish are great at insults, here is how to properly make and drink a Fianna Pucker Fucker:

1 oz. Green Apple Pucker (more Green Apple Pucker drinks)
1 oz. Jameson Irish Whiskey (more Jameson Irish Whiskey drinks)
Guinness (Or Killian's Irish Red) (more Guinness drinks)

Chill the first two ingredients and strain through ice into a shot glass. Shoot and slam the entire chaser afterwards.

Find a whiff of scandal, get fired, profit.

Did Trump just call Fox fake news

Still more proof that Trump doesn't understand what mocking means.

So "Sending in the Feds" actually amounts to nothing, right?

Again, Justin Trudeau brings on the awesome.

And because I love you, enjoy The Rumjacks!

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Have your neighbors reported YOU yet?

These will be heavy thoughts for a Saturday but I had them, so I'm sharing them. That's how this Internet thing works.

We've all been watching the news over the past few weeks about people being rounded up and deported. People who seemingly don't deserve it. A mother of a soldier killed while serving in the U.S. armed forces in Afghanistan. A soldier who served two tours. A local restaurant owner so beloved by the community who raised money for local police and firefighters and even fed them for free on rough days. A grandfather. A girl who gave a speech.

Yeah, them's the bad hombres Trump wants to deport all right.

Don't get me wrong - there are people who should be deported. The number is nowhere as big as some people imagine but Trump really hit a nerve when he talked about rapists, drug dealers and killers. No one wants to live by those people and those people do exist - although it seems to me that most of them are on bad TV shows.

But the people we're actually deporting just aren't those people. We are deporting people who are living the ideal of the American Dream. In many cases, these are people who have been here for over a decade. BEFORE OBAMA.

So there is a question that's been bothering me and no one is asking it. I have yet to see a single reporter ask this question and I started looking. Not one news story.


I think that this is something we Americans have a right to know. How do people wind up on ICE's list of people to detain and deport? Has ICE been looking for grandfathers and pillars of the community? I have my doubts.

What seems more likely is that these people are winding up on ICE's lists because someone told them about these people. So the question is: Who?

ICE, like any law enforcement agency, accepts tips from the general populace. Sometimes, that's just how the big break comes - someone talks about what they know to the right person. ICE actually has a toll-free number you can call to report suspected illegal immigrants. A top Google search as of late is "How do I get an illegal immigrant deported?"

Here's a fun fact about Google, by the way - if you start searching these kinds of things as research for a blog post they'll actually tell you what the top searches are. That's how I found this out.

The website wikihow gives you step-by-step instructions on how to anonymously report suspected illegal aliens. It is searched often enough to come up on the first page of a Google search on the topic.

Brietbart has published articles on how to report people, and on people telling other people how to report people. (Careful about following that link down the rabbit hole - it may induce vomiting).

The inescapable conclusion is that someone is out there reporting on suspected illegal immigrants. That someone could be anyone. That someone is quite likely anonymous. That someone could be your neighbor.

So is this where we are? Americans turning in the brown people? Is this who we want to be?

Some of us want to be that. Some of us want to be the ones who get rid of them brown people, so some of us are calling it in. Filling out forms with no repercussions. Doing their part to get of the brown-skinned peoples.

Is this list your path? Would this list make sense to you if instead of the word Jew it said Mexican? If so, what the ever lovin' FUCK is wrong with you?

What happened to you that turned you into such a paranoid jackass? What happened to us that turned us into people who squeal on our neighbors because of the color of their skin? What turned us into the bad guys?

And why is no one save for one cranky lefty blogger who swears too much asking?

Be careful out there my friends. Have your neighbors reported YOU yet?

And because I love you, a sweet pop-tune from Los Lonely Boys:

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Republican't Health Care.

So the Republican't version of health care does the following:

  1. Increases the cost of insurance for the elderly by as much as 67% - because the ceiling on coverage is no longer 3 times what the younglings pay but 5 times.
  2. Medicaid expansion goes bye bye, although those states that refused it are going to get small rewards.
  3. Planned Parenthood is defunded.
  4. The Subsidies that presently help people get coverage are gone.
  5. The limit on how much a CEO can deduct for their plan has been removed.
  6. Instead of having an individual mandate, anyone who goes 63 (!?) days or more can be charged an extra premium by their insurer - up to 130% of the original premium.
  7. The essential benefits portion of the ACA also goes bye bye, so now an insurer can pick and choose which thing you're going to go bankrupt over.
  8. There are six (6) pages in the new bill dealing with LOTTERY WINNERS, and keeping them away from Medicaid!
  9. Repeals the tanning tax.

Yep, people are gonna die.

Cheap shots:

Actually, Obama is only 7.38% at fault.

This is going to put us near the top when people discuss countries that abuse human rights.

It's a good question. Why would someone put a luxury hotel there?

They keep creating the same 40,000 jobs but I don't actually see anyone working. Just sayin'. By the way, this is the same 40,000 jobs Trump's Secretary of State Rex Tillerson himself announced back when he was CEO and Obama was President. Just sayin'.

Look out menfolk. It's tomorrow.

Didn't we just pass 400?

Here is how to make an Island Breeze:

4 oz. Pineapple Juice
1.5 oz. Rum
1 oz. Cranberry Juice
2 Dashes Angostura Bitters

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice and shake vigorously. Strain into a tall glass with ice, and garnish with a lime wedge. 

Sometimes I can actually hear in the background Daffy Duck saying, "Deficit, Schmeficit, as long as I'm rich."

Meanwhile, over at the Stateless Department...

Yes, the 2020 election has already begun fundraising

And because I love you, They Might Be Giants covering "Tubthumping":