Tuesday, October 30, 2018

My own Ballot

So.... how am I gonna vote?

Well, I live in California, in Nancy Pelosi's district. So here's how it comes down, officially:


House of Representatives - Nancy Pelosi. She was a great Speaker of the House and I want her to be that again. She's going to win this seat and has no real opposition. But the vote counts.

Senate - Diane Feinstein. I really wanted Kevin De Leon to either push her to the left or take over. But even though he won the right to challenge her he never really put up a fight. That said, if the Democrats take over the Senate she becomes the head of the Judiciary Committee. That could be spectacular.


Governor - Gavin Newsom. I've watched his career from the moment he was appointed supervisor in the City of San Francisco, to Mayor, to Lt. Governor. Yeah, he's a bit of a greaseball but he's on the right side of just about every social issue out there, which John Cox is NOT. 

Lt. Governor - Eleni Kounalakis. I find her to be the more progressive candidate.

Secretary of State - Alex Padilla. The SoS position has become important as of late, as they can purge voter rolls. For that reason alone we cannot give the keys to Mark Meuser.

Controller -  Betty Yee. Just voting the Democratic line here. Betty Yee is part of the Chinese political machine of San Francisco

Treasurer - Fiona Ma. She's got the financial experience and that's good enough for me.

Attorney General - Xavier Becerra. See my logic for Secretary of State. Good lord Steven Bailey would be a terrible choice.

Insurance Commissioner - Ricardo Lara. Because he's not Steve Poizner. Don't let Poizner's "Independent" tag fool you. He's a conservative through and through and was a terrible commissioner before. He's also said some terrible things about immigrants. Lara is a career politician moving from one job to another because of term limits, but he's not Poizner.

Board of Equalization District 2 - Malia Cohen. You need someone in charge of collecting the taxes who agrees with the taxes. Period.

State Assembly, District 19 - Phil Ting. Another whose career I've watched for a long time now. One of the good guys.

Superintendent of Public Education - Tony Thurmond. More than anything else, the person in this post needs to actually believe in public education as opposed to charter schools. 

Judges - This is all Yes or No on this ballot. I will vote yes on all of them. This keeps Donald Trump from appointing someone else.

San Francisco

I live in a district that does not have an active race for Supervisor, Mayor, or most of the other fun stuff

Assessor - Carmen Chu. She holds the job now and she's doing fine.

Public Defender - Jeff Adachi. He's running unopposed.

Community College Board - Brigette Davila. Why not.

Bart Board, District 8 - Melanie Nutter. She's a transportation planner and Bart is expanding south. 

Board of Equalization - Gabriela Lopez, Faauuga Moliga (love this guys name) and Michelle Parker.

Statewide Propositions

1 - Bonds for Housing Assistance. YES. This is a no brainer.

2 -  Bonds for housing assistance for the Mentally Ill. YES.

3 - Bonds for infrastructure for water. YES.

4 - Bonds for building children's hospitals. YES. If you vote no then fuck you.

5 - I'm not sure what the purpose of this one is other than to allow older people to not pay taxes when they sell their homes. NO.

6 - Eliminates certain taxes that are presently being used to fund road and infrastructure repairs. If you vote yes on this one then fuck you. NO.

7 - Changing Daylight Savings Time. This bill actually does nothing. It only allows us to change Daylight Savings time by 2/3 majority in the legislature IF the Federal Government changes it. Kinda pointless bill. NO.

8 - Capping charges on Kidney dialysis centers. I'll be honest with you, I don't know why the hell this is being decided by the voters. This should be in the hands of the legislature or the Insurance Commissioner. But here we are. I think the idea is a good one, but it needs tweaking. But I can't bring myself to vote against it - because that's not good enough. YES.

9 - There is no Prop 9.

10 - Repealing Costa-Hawkins. Basically what this one does is repeals limitations placed on rent control and allows local municipalities to have control over rent control again. One side calls it "the rent is too damned high" initiative and the other says "it makes a bad problem worse". Thing is, they're both wrong. For one thing it does nothing to decrease rents - it just can help to keep rent from going higher. But the "bad problem even worse" part has nothing to do with rents, but with available investment capital. If this passes investment in new construction will become more scarce for a little bit, but then people will adjust their models and investment will start up again. But again, it can help keep rents from going higher. YES.

11 - Pay for EMTs and Ambulance workers while they are on call during their down time. Everyone wants this one. YES.

12 - Looks like it makes Free-range kinda mandatory for some animals farmed or food. Hey, it's California. YES.

Local Propositions

A - Earthquake safety Bonds. YES. Think about where we live. Duh.

B - Right to Privacy. I have no idea why this is on the ballot. I'm not sure it even does anything. YES.

C - Business taxes to fund homeless services. It's a decent idea - it's not a huge tax and the biggest employer in the city supports it (Salesforce). It looks like the big argument against it is that the taxes raised would be more money than many important services in the city. That said, housing costs an awful lot in this city. So it's an apples to oranges kind of thing. Bottom line, this fund also helps low-income people how have housing not lose it. So... YES.

D - Tax on Cannabis. YES. You wanna smoke it? Pay for it. It ain't a big tax - deal with it.

E - Allocation of Hotel tax for Arts and Cultural purposes. It just sets aside moneys already in hand for arts purposes. While people can argue about whether or not this is a good allocation of the moneys the real question for me is does San Francisco want to be known as a city that supports the arts. YES. 

Monday, October 29, 2018

Break the leash. Take a step. Do more than growl.

During the 1980’s there was a comic strip by David Lynch (yes, THAT David Lynch) that ran in a number of alternative newspapers called “The Angriest Dog in the World”. It was minimalist genius – every strip the art was the same: A dog straining against its leash, growling. The first 3 panels would be in daylight, and the last at night. Different dialogue would come from the house he was chained to each week, much of it absurdist. One example is in the first panel a speech bubble that read “It doesn’t get any better than this” and the remaining three panels without dialogue at all. Like I said, minimalist genius.

But before the 1st panel would be an explanation of the whole premise: “The dog who is so angry he cannot move. He cannot eat. He cannot sleep. He can just barely growl. Bound so tightly with tension and anger, he approaches the state of rigor mortis.”

I feel like that a lot lately.

This was a horrible weekend to be a compassionate human being. The part-timer in the White House (see below) started blaming the victims of the attempted bombings. In in his very first statement regarding the massacre as the synagogue in Pennsylvania he wondered why they didn’t think to have armed guards.

Armed guards, at a bris. Oy.

And now today President Spray Tan is starting to put the first steps in place towards declaring martial law along the US border with Mexico. This has got to stop. The leash has to break.

We have a man in the white house show stokes up anger on a daily basis and then blames the media for a) reporting it and b) making people angry. I think he honestly believes this too. I think he doesn’t understand what media does, because all he watches if Fox News and they don’t do what the rest of the media does.

I think it’s time we take his viewing habits out of his arsenal of petty tweets and barely veiled threats. I think it’s time to take away his televised rallies, and the sycophants who advise him on policy through obviously slanted media.

It’s time – long past time – to get rid of Fox News. Like others, I am calling for a boycott of all companies who advertise on the channel.

I know that sounds daunting, but consider this: boycotts of advertiser products on Fox have brought down Bill O’Reilly, Megyn Kelly, Rush Limbaugh, Gretchen Carlson, and many advertisers still shy away from Laura Ingraham. Why not the whole shebang?

Why not do some radical theater against the network? Chop down the antennae on their roof. Write letters to and protest their landlord.

By the way the landlord (i.e. owner of the building) is part of the Rockefeller empire, but for tax purposes is specifically:
1211 Avenue of the Americas REIT
1211 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY  10036

Boycott EchoStar, Galaxy 15, and DirecTV for carrying them. Tell your own cable company to drop them. Boycott local advertisers who advertise on them through cable.

On a local basis I can’t tell you who the advertisers are. Nationally here is the list of their top advertisers, along with their twitter handles. Complain to them. Bombard them with questions as to why they advertise with a channel that promotes such an unhinged platform of hate. Ask them why they support hate speech:

Keurig Green Mountain --> @Keurig
Ford --> @Ford 
Lincoln --> @LincolnMotorCo
Pfizer --> @pfizer
Liberty Mutual --> @libertymutual
Bayer AG & Monsanto --> @Bayer @BayerUS
Honda --> @Honda
Acura --> @Acura
Ace Hardware --> @acehardware
Procter & Gamble -->@ProcterGamble @Bounty @MyCascade @Charmin @Crest @DawnDish @Febreze_Fresh @downy @Gillette @GilletteVenus @OlaySkin @OralB@Pantene @Swiffer @Tide @Luvs @Pampers
Allstate --> @Allstate
Esurance --> @Esurance
Capital One -->@capitalone
Go RVing --> @GoRVing
Glaxo Smith Kline --> @GSK
Subaru -->@subaru_usa
Fiat Chrysler (Alfa Romeo, Dodge, Jeep) -->@FiatChrysler_NA – @alfa_romeo@AlfaRomeoUSA @Dodge @Jeep
Expedia -->@Expedia
Trivago --> @trivago
Lear Capital -->@LearCapital
Boehringer Ingelheim (Dulcolax, Jardiance, Zantac) -->@boehringerus @Boehringer
Tena --> @tena_us
Rakuten (Ebates) -->@RakutenToday @Ebates
Progressive --> @Progressive

The only place they can be hurt is in the pocketbook. So let’s bring the hurt. Break that leash.

Cheap Shots (Mazeltov!):

By the way, if you want to block them from reaching you on twitter, here is how to block them and over 1,100 other corporations from showing up in your twitter feed.

Steve King, the proper response is that if they were in America we’d kick them the fuck out.

Imagine that! John Roberts wants the SCOTUS to still be respected. He was being pressured to hear the case.

If you don’t want a pipe bomb sent to you stop criticizing me, fuckers!

Of course at the salary he gets we should have expected that he’d only work part time.

Once again, Jimmy Carter is right.

Hell, I’d be happy if simple American Law came after hate speech.

What will Tracy Ullman do for material in her show now?

Maybe what he wanted was for them to quote the book of Jeff.

By the way, violating the Posse Comitatus Act is also an impeachable offense. Just saying.

Coming soon to a constitutional crisis near you: The Rao Rule.

Ever wonder how to make a proper Old Fashioned? Here is the recipe:
Steps to Make It
1.      Place the sugar cube at the bottom of an old-fashioned glass.
2.      Saturate the cube with bitters and muddle.
3.      Fill the glass with ice (the larger the cubes, the better).
4.      Add the whiskey.
5.      Stir well.
6.      Garnish with an orange peel and cherry.

And because I love you, Triumph (i.e. the other great and oft-neglected power trio from Canada)

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Love it if we Made it

We're fucking in a car, shooting heroin
Saying controversial things just for the hell of it
Selling melanin and then suffocate the black men
Start with misdemeanours and we'll make a business out of them
And we can find out the information
Access all the applications 
that are hardening positions based on miscommunication
Oh Fuck your feelings
Truth is only hearsay
We're just left to decay
Modernity has failed us
And I'd love it if we made it
Yes, I'd love it if we made it
Yes, I'd love it if we made it
Yes, I'd love it if we made it
And poison me daddy
I've got the Jones right through my bones
Write it on a piece of stone
A beach of drowning three-year-olds
Rest in peace Lil Peep
The poetry is in the streets
Jesus save us
Modernity has failed us
And I'd love it if we made it
Yes, I'd love it if we made it
Yes, I'd love it if we made it
Yes, I'd love it if we made it

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Talking Italian

You tried to bomb Robert De Niro? Really? You talkin’ to me? Are. You. Talking. To me?!!?!!?

Two more years of this “fake news” bullshit and rallies where Trump talks about enemies and someone’s going to get killed. Maybe a lot of someone’s.

Maybe someone you know. Maybe someone you like.

But definitely someone.

Cheap Shots (see the recipe below):

Rush,I have to break it to you. ALL of the people who foment violence of this nature are/were Republicans and/or right wingers.

I am the same age as the graphic novel. And the zip-code, which surprised me (what were they called before then?)

The Tough to Hear Shot Recipe:
1oz Chile de arbol-infused St-Germain
1oz Leopold Brothers Absinthe Verte
Splash lime juide.
Add all the ingredients to a shaker and fill with ice. Shake, and strain into a shot glass.

The VP might just have, you know, lied.

Well… Bye.

Some kind of “white power”.

I admit, this still freaks the hell out of me.

Oh, and magic mushrooms get the nod.

And because I love you, Bananarama:

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Proof I was with the band

First of all, let’s be grateful that no one was hurt. Although none of the packages in question were terribly sophisticated or large, the same can be said of the Unibomber’s devices. People could have died, but we have a fairly good group of people in the Postal Service, Secret Service, and Law Enforcement who deal with these sorts of things. They stopped the MAGAbomber from killing or even injuring anyone.

Second, let’s not pretend that this is over. It’s going to happen again. As long as Tweety McSpraytan keeps saying terrible things about specific people, specific people are going to be targeted. The people on his list.

Third, there is no “mob” of angry Democrats out there trying to take over the government. There won’t be if we do take over. That’s your tactic, not ours.

Fourth, there is no equivalence to be had. There have been 44 bombings of abortion clinics in the US. There have been ZERO (0) at corporate meetings/retreats, Trump buildings, Koch Brothers meetings, Club for Growth meetings, Camp David, any Republican elected official’s home or office, Fox News, Brietbart, or even a fucking KKK meeting, headquarters, or person’s residence. There is no “both sides” here – it’s just the right-wingers.

Cheap shots, and rum is required today:

For all you Climate Change deniers, did you know a Hawaiian Island has disappeared?

I wouldn’t say “freezes over” but certainly they need to check the thermostat.

“…in charge over the white folk, just like they done after the Civil War

And because I love you, Lovelytheband:

I'm the one who doesn't look like a member of the band:

Sunday, October 21, 2018

I am a meteor.

First of all Donnie, there aren't any riots happening in California. Period. Not over Sanctuary Cities (like you claimed), not over Racist motherfuckers who come into our state to disrupt our chill, and not even over the issue of all them Latinos voting. I've spent nearly my entire life in California and know what I'm talking about. I live in a Sanctuary City. I'd invite you to come look and see for yourself - because you've spent just about zero time in California - but ew, no, gross. Get away.

(Also, as a side note, your spray tan is getting in your hair again. That can have dangerous side effects - including dementia, so please be careful.)

Second of all Lindsey, if we liberals manage to take back congress it will not be "mob rule". It will be "Majority Rule". I'm sure you've heard of it.

Third of all, Rand, there's just no filibustering your way out of it. The person pretending to be the leader of the free world is helping cover up a murder. As I have said from the first moment the official Saudi excuse was given, if he died in a fist fight why dismember him?

Fourth of all, Thom, I notice that your expression of "tough choices" never includes having rich people give back their tax cuts. Seriously - You cut taxes then complain you didn't get enough taxed from the people, so you cut benefits to the people who didn't get a big tax cut. That doesn't make you a Republican or a Conservative - you're just an asshole.

And finally and most personally to me, Roger, protecting someone's civil rights does not mean redefining them out of existence entirely. You and your ilk, sir, are dinosaurs and deserve to be extinct. And I am a meteor.

That's all for today's news. Tune in tomorrow - we'll still be drinking.

Friday, October 19, 2018

Mandatory Prison Time...

Every single one of you motherfuckers who screamed “Benghazi” and now paint Journalist Jamal Khashoggi part of the very organizations he was known to be against, or who repeat the obvious lie that he died in a fist-fight (and why was he dismembered then?) consider this – you are now doing the VERY THING you accused (and couldn’t prove) against Secretary of State Hilary Clinton. But it’s very easy to prove what you’re doing – you’re involved in the cover-up of the murder of a fellow human being. In all 50 states and every US territory that’s a Class A Felony, punishable with serious (and in most places mandatory) jail time and loss of franchise as a citizen of this country. In other words, you lose the right to vote.

There just isn’t any sugar-coating of this. This is the kind of thing that should take Fox News off the air. This is the kind of thing that should impeach Trump, Pence, Pompeo, and every other member of the team chumming up with the Saudi’s and accepting and spreading their word. This is the kind of thing that RICO charges get brought on, and that should ensnare Jared Kushner and possibly other members of Trumps immediate circle/family.

At the very least it makes you into the kind of filth that should be ERASED from this earth. Fix yourself. If you believe in that sort of thing, you’re going to hell. It’s inexcusable. If there is to be a reckoning, you’re on the wrong side.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Radio Free California for 10-17-2018, plus a small smattering of cheap shots.

So here’s your new episode of Radio Free California. I love making these  - it’s like mix-tapes of old. Put together a bunch of songs on a cassette and let it ride. Except no one has cassette players anymore and putting these up as mp3’s gets the attention of the lawyers of record labels (I used to do this as a podcast, so I know this). So I use YouTube. That has issues too – There’s a song on the new Eminem album I’d like to use but it’s behind a pay wall so no thank you Bruce. 

Here’s a mix of 21 songs, some brand new, some old, some surprising, and a real mix of genres. I’ve made about 70 of these and I love going back and listening again – discovering the bands I discovered before radio and listening to rare and forgotten tracks. So here’s the latest one!

Here’s a track listing:
The Wonder Stuff – Good Deeds and Highs
Steve Perry – No Erasin’
The 1975 – Love it if me Made it
Cults  - i took your picture
Rick Springfield  - Blues for the Disillusioned
Dani Harrison - All about waiting
JD McPherson - Style ( is a losing game)
The Manhattan transfer - Cantaloop (Flip Out)
Cake  - Mr Mastodon Farm
Blackfield- how was  your ride

In the Cassette days that would be the end of Side One. Here comes Side Two"

Spocks Beard - All on a Sunday
Blackfield - Undercover Heart
Bjork - Play Dead
10cc - Overdraft in Overtime
Calexico  - Coyoacan
The Darkness- I wish I was in Heaven
Audioslave - the last remaining light
Living Colour  - Come On
Bob Welch – Miles Away
Death from above 1979 - NVR 4EVR
Bangles - Glitter years

I usually try NOT to find music videos – I want the music to stand on its own but in a couple of cases it’s unavoidable. Try to listen while you’re doing something else so you aren’t bothered by the images. I can’t help about the commercials. You’re stuck there, unless you have YouTube Red.


Cheap Shots (It’s Wednesday, so I recommend Vodka – chilled to near-freezing):

I has a sad. To give you an idea of just how amazing Caroll Spinney is, watch this: 

I agree, fat ass.

And because I love you: 

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

I am not a Socialist!

This past weekend I took the final steps in stepping back from most social media. I cancelled both my twitter and Facebook accounts. I have for years considered these places to be creative suckholes – I could feel my own creativity draining from me – but actually cutting the cord is very difficult. Many of my friends use these platforms to stay in touch. It’s the place to get Bloom County comics 1st. I’ve used it to promote my music, my comics, and even to send my oldest child to Siberia (that was successful by the way – they’ve since come back). But I just can’t do it anymore. All I have left is Tumblr and this.

And LinkedIn. And yelp. And WeMe. And…  CHRIST!

In cutting the cord for twitter and Facebook they both treat your account deletion like a divorce. I still have 30 days to change my mind before everything becomes final. I can come back at any time until November 14th and it will all still be there. All NINE YEARS of posting. Nine freaking years.

I didn’t realize it because I had forgotten, but the reason I even joined all these social networks in the first place was to promote my album eleven/eleven. The single “Jennifer” was doing very well and I wanted to share it with a wider audience. That only kinda/sorta what happened.

I ran into friends, which I expected. Some of my friends are real social mavens – even back then some had over 1,000 Facebook friends and now they had access to me. I don’t mind that really – you can’t choose your fans – and if they can put up with my ranting then more power to them. Lots of people I knew in high school started friending me. LOTS of them. Many I only barely knew. A couple I actively HATED.

I have no desire whatsoever to relive my high school days. There was no “glory days” or any of that bullshit – I’m honestly surprised I survived at all. Fuck ‘em. I didn’t get into social media to reconnect with my past. But a fan’s a fan – I only blocked one or two of them.

The Obama era came along and I discovered a number of people I knew tangentially were racist motherfuckers. I purged them. I ranted angrily against things and for things. I have always been politically active and screaming into the Facebook void was a good way to make points and get into arguments. Oh, boy, did I get into arguments. I am a LIBERAL and proud of it.

I finally reached a point where I realized I was angry all the time, and it was affecting me. So I went through and purged again – this time actually cutting real friends and people I respected (including a decorated war veteran to whom I apologized personally) and whittling my friends list down to what I thought was a manageable few. Okay, a manageable 150 or so.

It was better for a while – even fun – but then old habits creeped their way back in. I got into fewer arguments (I do have Republican friends, good people one and all and we’re a feisty bunch) but it was workable. I felt more relaxed, and got to work on music again. I discovered that my anger had crept into my music and that what I had been producing was kinda terrible given what I wanted to accomplish, so I started over. I wrote a whole new album, and I think it’s among my best work. Social media was still a distraction but nothing serious.

As I liked to tell people, paraphrasing the great Walt Kelly, Don’t take Facebook so seriously. It ain’t nohow important. Like many of my friends, I kept personal information off of social media. I don’t have it on my phone, and I’ve never linked my address book to it. Same with twitter. I don’t have Instagram or… what’s the other one… Pinterest.

Then came Trump.

This motherfucking spray-tanned son of a bitch. Yeah, it’s a spray tan – probably from some brand long out of business that he bought all of their old and now-expired stock. Look closely – sometimes it gets in his hair. This walking gravity-sucking lie machine. This master manipulator of social media.

He calls himself the healthiest person on earth when he clearly has the profile of a man one cheeseburger away from stroking out. He says that he never said things that are on film, tape, and TV. He contradicts himself in the same sentence at times. He lies about EVERYTHING. He believes that everything Obama did was bad, no matter what it was, and is trying to reverse it. He wants to turn west coast military bases into coal import/export stations, because those of us in Washington, Oregon and California don’t vote his way.

This motherfucking cheeto-stain porn-star fucking Manchurian Candidate by way of Russia and Saudi Arabia whose number one defense of anything bad he has done is “I didn’t do it, YOU did it”… won the fucking election.

And he hasn’t shut up about it since. Or about anything else for that matter.

I now have friends predicting and upcoming civil war in the U.S. I have family that has moved overseas (or at least to Canada) and I’ve considered it myself. Trump, and his affect on everything, is every fucking place you can go on the internet. And that’s the final straw. I tried fighting for a while, slipping into my old habits and being angry all the time, especially as toadstool-dick insulted whole swaths of the population that now include every member of my family except me – the lone white male who isn’t Jewish. He’s even insulted the only member of my family who supported him.

I have watched people of faith chase after golden (spray-tanned) calves. I have watched whole segments of people insulted and belittled. I have watched people I know defend the indefensible. Defend what they KNOW can’t be defended. I have watched as people who consider themselves centrists become radicalized by the Clown-in-chief. I have spoken with them. Argued with them. Consoled them. Cracked jokes with them.

But you know what? I just want to be a musician. Write songs, write prose (and the occasional rant), make records, and hopefully have hits and sell records. When you do these things it takes up a lot of your time. When you involve 1 person on social media that time increases. And for every person you add it increases exponentially until you reach the point that something you are doing has to go away. I have fallen horribly behind on things that matter to me, and I actually can tell when that happened – fall of 2016. Hell, there are TV shows from back then I haven’t caught up on. Books I haven’t read.

Books I haven’t read…

Those of you who know me personally know that I’m an avid reader. 50, 60 books a year. Often more. Until the past two years. I haven’t read one book all the way through this year. I miss it. That was the wrong thing that had to give. Social media drove me away from those things and I can’t have that anymore. Something ELSE has to give, and I decided that it has to be Social Media.

I can’t have it in my life and still be a recognizable version of myself. So, goodbye Facebook. Goodbye twitter.

Of course, I’ll eventually be back. I’ll need them to promote my NEXT album. That’s the way of things these days. But it’s going to be different – focused on other things. Focused on my music career.

I hope.

Cheap Shots:

Can one of my Facebook/twitter friends share this picture?

To my friends: Called it!

Donald Daters. Oops, it leaks…

Poor judgment? “Harvested”? Look, until two days ago I didn’t know there was a place on Earth where it was legal to hunt baboons. Now that you’re out of a job, don’t you just feel like a… (insert joke here). Warning: if you’re an animal lover you might want to skip this one. Or drink three shots first.

Maybe he was just cleaning his bone saw and it went off.

Dear Fuckboy Nazi Gavin McInnes: だともっている んでしょう?

Come on now. Really? The drunken host of Match Game ain’t violently overthrowing nuthin’.

We need this in the American version now.

What it’s like to referee your own election.

My own take on all this has been, from the very beginning, who gives a spit?

Deficit Schmeficit as long as I’m rich.”

Treason? Probably not.

I’d light a candle, but I’m afraid of getting a blue screen. What. Too soon? In all seriousness, my condolences to the family. He turned out to be okay – post Microsoft.

Could you be drawn to this?

Maybe you could try a disguise? Like, say, a Bow-Tie?

And because I love you, here’s some Liam Gallagher.