To you birther fucking idiots, I have answers:

Here is, verbatim, a letter received and quoted by digby over at Hullabaloo:

Does Barack Hussein Obama wake up every morning and ask himself, "How can I Destroy Christian America" today? Because for the past two years that is exactly what this Lying, Commie, Baby Killing, Muslim has been doing!

How many Laws has Obama broken? How many times has Obama broken his Oath of Office? How many time has he broken the American Constitution? How many times has he lied to The American People? How many times has he betrayed America? How many Acts of Treason has Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder committed?

When is our Congress, our Senate and our Law Makers going to Stop and Impeach this destructor of America?

Why is Obama allowed to continually break the Laws of the Land?

It has been over two years and America still does NOT know if Obama was born in Kenya, Hawaii or where? America which was once Strong, Proud and Respected Nation has become the laughing stock of the World.

Um, excuse me. I have my hand raised. I know the answers to all of these questions and I'd like to answer each of the questions, in order: No, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, never, he isn't, and we actually do you fucking idiot. Yeah, we're a laughing stock but we were already that before Obama came into power.

Still looking for creative ways to avoid using the word "nigger", I see.

Cheap shots (get your drink on - I'm doing Tom Collins' again):

Mr. President, the Soldier of Orange is a fucking liar. Please remember that.

He's also a troop-hating asshole.

Aaaaand Mike Huckabee loses the Star Wars Nerd vote. And gives out an epic fail to try and win them back.

Are you all fucking idiots?

What the hell ass? Terror Babies no, but slaves yes?

No, Bill ORLY, they're not sex dolls.

By the way Billo, here's the real violence in Wisconsin.

And just maybe, some of these guys want to keep their jobs.

But in the meantime, vote my way or I kill this puppy.

Jimmy Fallon has had a good week. He got his own ice cream, and then there's this.

But this is probably overkill.

What is it with the Galtians and their hate of railroads? Isn't the heroine of Atlas Shrugged trying to build one? Or is the problem that there aren't any railroad barons anymore?

Bitch® has no clue what the first amendment means.

And because I love you, The Connells