I don't give no alternative fucks

Let's get straight into the... CHEAP SHOTS:

I agree. Finding these Bowling Green Massacre jokes to be a little too soon. Out of respect, we should wait until it takes place.

As if there weren't enough reasons to hate on Jar-Jar Binks.

Nothing to see here. Move along, move along.

Okay, even this is odd.

No, Obama had nothing to do with Operation Desert Eagle Claw II.

Trying to lay the blame on... George W?

Nyet, you cannot break us, Comrade Wyden!

#DressLikeAWoman

Hit like a girl too.

Per Sean Spicer 109=100,000+

By the way, among the people detained at airports was the former Prime Minister of Norway.

For the Super Bowl: Canta, canta una canción...

(By the way, instead of watching the game we're probably going to be playing Exploding Kittens)

Cyber Insecurity.

Thanks Obama.

As it seems appropriate, here is how to make a Moscow Mule:

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 fluid ounces vodka
• 1/2 fluid ounce lime juice
• ice cubes

1/2 cup ginger beer

• 1 lime wedge for garnish

Directions

1. Pour vodka and lime juice into a mug; add ice cubes and ginger beer. Stir to combine.
2. Drop a lime wedge into the mug for garnish.

Calling a Spade a Spade.

Yes, there is a Women problem in the GOP. Here is a perfect example.

Now THIS is how you troll.

Imagine getting 5,300,000 x-rays per hour. 

They're going to FIRE every law enforcement officer on public lands. Yeah, that'll be fun. Seriously, what the FUCK is wrong with these people?

And because I love you, how about a 40 year-old song?