The worst thing

You know what the worst thing is about having your identity stolen? The phone calls.

I have been receiving phone calls from just about everyplace in the country, at a rate of about 1 every 7-10 minutes. Some come from the payday lenders that the thief took out loans in my name. Some come from even more predatory lenders wanting to know if I want to borrow more money (those people text me too). From Washington DC. Rom Virginia. From Texas. From Ohio. From Florida.

I’ve received phone calls from Restricted numbers. From Anonymous numbers (which I had no idea even existed). I got one phone call from a number that STARTED with a “0”. I didn’t even know that was possible.

The texts start at about 5am. The phone calls start about 8am. They don’t stop until about 6pm or so. It’s gotten to the point that I’ve had to set ringtones for the numbers I recognize, and a soft, tranquil tone everyone can ignore for the rest.

It has reached the point where I simply cannot answer the phone unless it’s from a ringtone that I’ve individually set up for a person. Except for my wife, children and mom I haven’t done that. It’s annoying.

And it’s not like I can tell people to stop. The calls come from different numbers every day. I know they’ll stop eventually, but right now it’s as annoying as hell.

Cheap Shots, and let’s make it Vodka today!

I am 100% against this. Watching about 150 photographers crowd around a table to just photograph a few pieces of paper on NPR was hilarious.

A little late, don’t you think?

And about fucking time, don’t you think?

Feel free to reverse those last two, if you wish.

20th Century

Ingredients1.5 oz vodka
.75 oz lemon juice
.25 oz Creme de Cacao
.25 oz spiced pear liqueur
.125oz of maple syrup
1 dash chocolate bitters

InstructionsCombine all ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake to combine.

She’s a nice Ambassador. Pity if anything were to, uh, say, happen to her.

And because I love you, Level 42 performing Something about you.