So, one of the strange side-effects of being "that guy" who saw the first Star Wars movie in theaters nearly 1,000 times is that I get asked which movies should be watched, what order they should be watched in, and so on. A few years back, before the Disney Star Wars movies, there was something called the "Machete Edit", which proposed a specific order to watch the movies, editing out a lot of Episode 1.It was actually pretty good, but we have so much more to work with now.
There are others as well, and some of the TV shows have been input into the viewing order as well. So, after years of saying I wouldn't do it, I have changed my mind - I mean, I need to do some kind of non-political post at some point this year - and so here we go, with my logic for it.
And stay away from all of the revised and director's cuts. Just don't. Han shoots first.
This is the best of all the movies. But to tell a coherent story this movie must come next. The absolute depth of the force is first explained, we meet Yoda, we understand more about the politics of the Empire, and the truth of who Darth Vader is - was - is revealed. This is the 2nd movie made too, so up to this point we can just work with how they were made. But now we must depart the text.
3. The Phantom Menace
Let's be honest, this isn't a great movie. But again, we're trying to tell a storytelling arc, and this is the first in a series of "how did we get here" stories that builds and enriches. Some of the acting is horribly stilted and the dialogue is terrible, and who the hell thought the idea that Anakin Skywalker actually built C-3PO? That's just wrong on so many levels. This is a movie meant to build a toy line and it shows. But holy crap that first poster was great, and there are a couple of set pieces in the movie that are a marvel. The Pod Race, every scene with Darth Maul, and watching Senator Palpatine put everything in motion is just great. Yes, the whole Jar-Jar Binks arc is misplaced, but once you've seen the next movie it sort of falls together.
4. Attack of the Clones
Although not the worst movie in the franchise, it is a close second. It's hard to believe that there are two Oscar winners in this film. The dialogue is awful, the acting is terrible, and every time Teenaged Anakin Skywalker is on screen you want to change the channel or wish you had picked up Star Trek instead. But allow me to enhance your viewing of this movie with a couple of ideas that are never shown on screen. First of all, compare This Obi-Wan Kenobi to the Obi-Wan in the first movie. As a character, he has settled into the man you first meet when he is much older - he has given up on anything but Jedi pursuits and although not given much to work with Ewan McGreggor does a couple of amazing things, but you have to pay attention. First, he channels Alec Guinness expertly. But secondly, he gives a nuance to the performance that is easy to miss - that one of the things he gave up is Padme Amadala. Keep that in mind when he is on screen, especially with Natalie Portman. Obi-Wan treats Padme as if she were a lover he had to give up on. It's very subtle, but it's there.
And one more thing, watching Palpatine manipulate Jar-Jar Binks into destroying the Democratic institutions brings the Jar-Jar arc into a completely different focus, and I have to admit that I enjoyed that. And oh yes, finally, clones.
5. Star Wars Clone Wars (2003)
A lot of people have forgotten this one. The animation wasn't very good but it was a first attempt at actually having the famed Clone Wars, which the movies never really had. Do not confuse this with the animated close wars that came much later, but there are some important moments, such as Anakin finally becoming a full Jedi and not a Padawan, and the introductions of General Grevius and others that are important later.
6. Star Wars Clone Wars (Movie, Seasons 1-6)
This is the more famous of the Clone Wars Series, and the writing is much better, and the animation improves over time. Watch the movie and series 1 through 6, but not 7 (the final season). There is a lot of development and a lot of time spent on new characters, but we get to see the effects of a long protracted war from the point of view of the people fighting it, and we eventually work our way into the scenes at the start of the next movie on the list.
7. Revenge of the Sith
Okay, Anakin turns to the dark side for a pretty stupid reason. But watching Palpatine manipulate him is just amazing. There are some set pieces that are great, including the final showdown between Vadar and Obi-wan, but dear lord there some wasted performances, including Christopher Lee, James Earl Jones, but especially Natalie Portman - who is basically barefoot and pregnant for the entire movie - the reduction of a heroine to a piece of disposable scenery that that's just unforgivable. Palpatine and Obi-wan make the movie shine, but everything else is poorly executed. But you have to slog through this to get to this:
8. Star Wars Clone Wars, Final Season
Told concurrently with Revenge of the Sith, This expands upon the best parts of the movie, and flushes out the stories of the people who we've gotten to know over the course of the various TV shows, and what happens when General Order 66 is given. It also sets up a small plot point in a later movie on this list.
9. Return of the Jedi
Finally, we get to the last of the original three movies. Yes, there are things that are cringe-worthy, like the metal bikini, the stupid dispatching of Boba-Fett after building him up so much, the Ewoks - which are just a little bit too cute but I will forgive because we were introduced to the great Warwick Davis, but for each element of that are such things as "The Emperor is not as forgiving as I", and watching Palpatine manipulate everything yet again with a master's touch, and at long last the redemption of the Skywalker family.
10. Rogue One
Now that the saga has "ended", let's see how it all began! This is a pretty damned good movie, with some unexpected special effects and a furious pace, with characters you love who will die, and some who have truly questionable motives. And given that the events of this movie take place just before the events of a movie released 40 years earlier, the advances made are just amazing.
And now I am going to make a few controversial moves. There is another stand alone movie that I do NOT think should be next. I am also not going to include either of the other TV series - one because I just haven't seen it and one because I believe most people have the timeline misplaced. I will explain.
11. The Force Awakens
Okay, yes we get new characters, and yes Adam Driver acts circles around everyone, but for the most part, this is the just original movie reworked as "The Search for Luke". Harrison Ford is now in the wise old man role that used to be owned by Obi-wan. This movie, like the very first one from 1977, sets the rules for the new universe. The happy ending everyone was expecting didn't exactly happen, and the rebellion is once again trying to gain the upper hand against all odds. The fascism elements are over the top, although they seem to be prophetic as of this writing. There's lot of promise here, but far too much J.J. Abrams.
12. Solo: A Star Wars Story
This first movie of a trilogy that was never made, this movie holds up pretty well. It explains the whole "distance as speed" paradox introduced way back in the first movie, and gives you one last glimpse of the potential of Han Solo as a younger man, how he unconsciously had an impact on the events that lead to Rogue One, and the introduction of so much potential. I mean, Darth Maul! Darth Maul! Oh, what could have been.
The biggest problem with this movie is that audiences wanted a young Harrison Ford. Alden Ehrenrich is fine as Han Solo, and Donald Glover is well-cast as a young Lando. But I have to admit that having Emilia Clarke as the female lead was jarring. By this point she was the female lead of everything fantasy and sci-fi related, from Game of Thrones to Terminator and I for one was getting pretty sick of her. But Darth Maul! Darth Maul!
Director Ron Howard has said repeatedly and loudly that he'd like to return to this and tell more story, but so far there has been no green light.
13. The Mandalorian
Boy oh Boy did Disney deliver on their first Star Wars Live Action series. The actual place in time that the series happens in hasn't been fully established. It's most certainly after Return of the Jedi. Until explicitly shown in the series, I like to think of this as happening concurrently with the third trilogies. There are lots of fan theories about Boba-Fett and a bunch of other things, but I don't buy it. Even if I'm wrong, this is the place to see this series for a completely different reason, which I will explain momentarily.
The performances here are close to legendary. That includes Warner Herzog, chewing up the scenery as the person you think is the villain behind everything, Nick Nolte, Pedro Pascal as the title character, whose face you only see once, Taika Waititi as a droid, and of course Giancarlo Esposito as the actual villain, eating up the scenery with every appearance.
UPDATE: Season two completely destroyed my timeline theory. This obviously takes place only a few years after the events of return of the Jedi, and we can now see that the seeds are starting to be planted for the birth of the First Order. That said, I'm not going to change the viewing order, because viewing the first 2 seasons of The Mandalorian at this point sets up the transformation of Luke to the man he has become in The Last Jedi as even more jarring.
The second season has a number of great moments, including a scene that immediately evokes Alien except it's MUCH scarier, the return of Boba Fett, played by the same actor who played Jango Fett, the introduction of the meaning of the black saber and the leader of The Mandalorians, and a surprisingly dark performance by comedian Bill Barr, who has spent years talking about how much he hates Star Wars.
And of course, there are the reveals of the last 10 minutes or so of the final episode - blowing my timeline to pieces and setting up a spin-off series that is yet-to-come as of this writing.
14. The Last Jedi
This is the 2nd best movie of the whole selection, and it's just amazing. It takes the characters and puts them on a hopeless path, while explaining the dubious choices made in the J.J. Abrams movie in believable ways. It introduces new characters and sets the entire story path on end, saying that the story isn't about the Skywalkers, but about the rebirth of the rebellion, which happens by the end of the movie. The Force itself gets redefined, and the showdown between Luke and Kylo is just badass. the stuff with Benicio del Toro is a weak point to the movie ,but otherwise this is a strong one - and I quoted the line by Luke of "Everything you just said is wrong" for MONTHS after.
15. STOP HERE.
I'm dead serious. Stop with The Last Jedi. The Rise of Skywalker is a simply awful movie and it spends about an hour erasing the entire previous movie. It creates nonsense about characters who are dead but not dead, has McGuffins and happenstances of convenience galore, A plot that requires advancement because of a physical impossibility involving a knife and death star debris. You get through the movie and realize that someone (J.J. Abrams? Disney?) is trying to smother the franchise with a pillow and create an ENDING. And suddenly Rey is the long lost granddaughter of Emperor Palpatine? are you FUCKING SERIOUS?!!?!!?!?
Oh lordy this is such a terrible movie. There was so much that could have been done with Riann Johnson still at the helm, and if Carrie Fisher hadn't died suddenly. But no. The Rise of Skywalker pukes on the entire franchise and is not worth the consideration. There is exactly ONE good idea in this movie, and it involved the link between Rey and Ben that was established in the previous movie - and it's the only idea that J.J. Abrams doesn't try to destroy.
End your experience with The Last Jedi, and you will see it ends with a message of hope, which is where it is supposed to be. Yes, things aren't resolved, but why should they be? The fleet is rag-tag, but the spark of rebellion exists everywhere. The rebellion is on the ropes and on the run, but the young slave-stable boy at the end is hopeful, and the force is with him. Interestingly enough the first season of The Mandalorian ends with the same overall message.
Stop here. Don't let The Rise of Skywalker ruin it for you.
And there you go. You're welcome to argue with me below. I will update this post as the new series launch.
